{"id":1129,"date":"2013-09-08T17:11:30","date_gmt":"2013-09-08T17:11:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.mathsmadeelementary.co.uk\/?p=1129"},"modified":"2013-09-11T15:47:51","modified_gmt":"2013-09-11T15:47:51","slug":"woody-allen-quotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.mathsmadeelementary.co.uk\/?p=1129","title":{"rendered":"Woody Allen quotes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Speech<\/a>Allen, Woody (1935 – ), US movie actor, comedian, & director<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

Eighty per cent of success is showing up.<\/i><\/p>\n

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.<\/i><\/p>\n

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.<\/i><\/p>\n

Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.<\/i><\/p>\n

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.<\/i><\/p>\n

To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.<\/i><\/p>\n

If God would just sneeze, I’d be happy.<\/i><\/p>\n

The lion will lay down with the lamb, but the lamb won’t get much sleep.<\/i><\/p>\n

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.<\/i><\/p>\n

Death doesn’t really worry me that much. I’m not frightened about it… I just don’t want to be there when it happens.<\/i><\/p>\n

As Woody Allen once said about Woody Allen: \u201cI prefer his earlier, funnier films.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.<\/i><\/p>\n

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work… I want to achieve it through not dying.<\/i><\/p>\n

If it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.<\/i><\/p>\n

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.<\/i><\/p>\n

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better… while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.<\/i><\/p>\n

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.<\/i><\/p>\n

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.<\/i><\/p>\n

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.<\/i><\/p>\n

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.<\/i><\/p>\n

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.<\/i><\/p>\n

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.<\/i><\/p>\n

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.<\/i><\/p>\n

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Allen, Woody (1935 – ), US movie actor, comedian, & director Eighty per cent of success is showing up. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[18],"class_list":["post-1129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-famous-quotations","tag-famous-quotations-2"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t