Burns, George (1896 – 1996), US actor & comedian
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young. When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
